Step 1: Know What You Focus On

The other day I asked if you believed wealth and poverty were a state of mind. Your responses were great, like:

• “…The wealthy people are all happy? The poor people are all not happy? Some wealthy people killed themselves because they got lost when they had everything in the world. They were spiritually poor, in my opinion.” -Jie J.
•”I feel that it’s a state of mind, a lot of it factors in to how you were raised. If in your upbringing you were “perceived” as wealthy or poor that will carry through with you. Another factor is attitude, they say attitude is everything so whether you attribute being under the medium income as positive or negative (same thing with those above the poverty line) directly correlates…” – Brittany D.

What I found most interesting was that everyone qualified their comments with some form of “some groups cannot help it” across the globe because of oppressive systems, norms, and governments.

I completely agree. But if you are reading this, you have access to the internet and are in the group known as “the richest people in the world,” regardless of your net worth.

Here’s the thing no one talks about…

Awareness of the relationship between our internal dialogue and our physical circumstances is the first step towards truly flourishing.

It’s not what we have, but what we do with what we have, compounded over time. This is the essence of stewardship over our bodies and lives.

This is why you can take one person, take away everything – health, job, relationships – and he is crushed and destitute. One year later, he is still impoverished, submitting resumes, and blaming his circumstances on “the economy.”

Take another person, take away everything, and she is back on her feet climbing back up one year later.
What’s the difference?
The first example focuses on what he doesn’t have, his former circumstances, while the latter uses what she does have. He sees the lack, she sees the opportunity.

Our physical circumstances are a result of our internal dialogue because our internal dialogue guides our behavior.

And the cumulative effect of our behaviors + time => our physical circumstances.

Body, health, marriage, money, relationships… your current circumstances and your satisfaction with those circumstances are a direct result of this internal dialogue…

So, where do you spend the waking 15 hours inside your head?

My biggest takeaway from Corley’s Rich Habits is that, generally, wealthy people think differently than the rest of us. And for those, it’s not that money brings happiness or health or greed, but that their internal dialogue drives behavior that naturally incurs wealth and all the other benefits. They are responsible stewards of all of their resources, from the inside out.

This piece is usually saved for elite performers, those at the top of their field who want the extra edge, but the mental game is so important that, if you get it now, you will progress so much further faster than you ever dreamed.

I wish I’d been told about this approach when I began losing weight. Instead, I just added on program after program, getting some temporary results but always feeling like it wasn’t enough.

When I took the time and accepted the challenge of working on my internal dialogue, the external results I craved naturally flowed from my progress.

For example,

  • I train only 2 days per week and experience consistent performance gains.
  • I eat whatever I want without counting calories (though I have a great story about a recent experiment counting), yet continue to lean out and feel great about myself and my choices.
  • I do what I LOVE for a living and get paid well for it.
  • I am more satisfied with my marriage at year 5 than years 1-4.

Make no mistake, this work is hard. It’s deep. It’s messy. As your Straight Shootin’ BFF, I am obligated to share the truth with you.

  • My training evolved from every day to a few times a week, to plateaus, and to frustrating steps backward before I finally figured out the system that works best for me.
  • My weight and body image have fluctuated wildly over the past 7 years, especially recently since I am cutting weight (10#!!!) for an upcoming strongwoman competition, but I am freer, stronger, and healthier in my approach on the other side.
  • Income has been up and down over the past three years as I have tried different approaches, systems, and methods to running a business. I’ve almost quit more times than I can count and did take a three month sabbatical that was originally indefinite.
  • My marriage took a turn for the worse over the past year as we dealt with our issues, both personally and as a couple, and I wasn’t sure we’d survive the summer.

Things usually get worse before they get better. This is a completely normal part of the process, one that no one ever tells you before you begin. I guess it’s because they think you might not begin if you know how challenging it will be… and some of you might not.

That’s okay. Maybe it’s not your time.

But for the ones who have tried it all and desire a lasting transformation, you get it.

You are ready to be open to the idea that the temporary investment of embracing discomfort pays dividends throughout the course of your life.

My promise is that you too, if you accept the challenge, can experience your own game-changing results. I’ll show you how.


Here are some ways to get started:
  1. Spend 3 minutes breathing deeply with your eyes closed. Allow your thoughts to flow freely and just be aware of the theme of those thoughts (no judgment!). Try this daily for a week. What do you notice?
  2. Repeat this common affirmation to yourself daily, “Each day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” (I got this from The Way of the Seal, by Mark Divine)
  3. Write down how you spend your waking hours for a few days. How long do you shower, eat, cook, drive, work, spend on the internet browsing, TV, exercise, etc. Again, no judgment, just building awareness.

Next, I’ll share how to build on this baseline data to optimize your lifestyle and flourish from the inside out.

But first, I want to know…

have you ever experienced a time where you began to do all the “right things,” but life got worse before it got better? How did you get through those times? What was the payoff on the other side?

Comment below to share your response. I read every one.


Life tastes better with butter,

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